Rash and Burn

  Today is the last day of slack for me. I find my holidays far too relaxing. Soon, and I mean VERY soon, my conventional 13~14-hours sleep will be reduced to half. Maybe I will even find myself lacking sufficient energy to get up from my comfy mattress at all. It is gonna be secondary-school-drill all over again. Mom is my human alarm clock, dog is my PHYSICAL alarm clock(She always lick my FACE whenever I let my guards down during sleep), bread and coffee for breakfast, and off we go, ready for yet another new adventure.

  Now, what caught my attention in Yahoo! News was about someone a year or two older than me committing suicide. She was half-Japanese, and was a student from Yishun Junior College. Let us see... In her blog she claims to have f***ed up ALL her important graduation papers. She had relationship problems(What one can expect from youths, especially cam-whores) and thus gave up in life.

  I hope I'm not being a jerk for saying this. Well, maybe a little... In my point of view, she was really, really foolish for a JC student to just give up and die, whether it is due to grades or... B-O-Y-F-R-I-E-N-D... Seriously? I mean... There are even more people out there in Uganda dying, not out of personal conflicts, but were forced to. They had to die if they don't turn into terrorists. They can't even choose their way of life, so do you think they would want to choose death? Death is a pit. Leap in and you will never get out. Leap in and you will never be the same again. Leap in and you will never see how much the people around you cared for you... What I believe was the cause of her death was simple: A weak resolve in a weak romantic situation.

  I remember the first heart-break I had before. Everything dimmed as though a shadow was cast on me for the rest of my life. However I chose to ignore the shadow and walk. That is why I am still alive and well right now. I scored 219 in my PSLE, and couldn't go into my dream-secondary-school, Riverside Sec, and went to Evergreen Sec, but I still lived. I chose to live with a roof over my head, even though the roof was poor and contained not a single, decent sense of security. I could have easily killed myself and spend the rest of eternity tormented around by Satan, but I didn't. I chose to overcome all these shit, and smile when I feel down, and laugh when I cry.

  I have other friends with troubles far greater than simply grades, and yet they lived. I have a friend whose parents fought and quarreled EVERYDAY. His mother even threatened to hurl a kitchen knife on one of his friends once, although she didn't. Yet he didn't kill himself. He approached the school counselor for help. He felt better after that, and is now up and running. I have another great friend whose family was poor, and his parents fought quite a lot of times, though not as much as the former. He couldn't get along with any of his family members, especially his sister. And yet, he still breathes, laughs, walks and works. Sure, maybe all these family problems have taken a toll on his emotional health, but he is still alive.

  There were many, many similar situations which concern many other ex-schoolmates, but they haven't killed themselves, and I am glad they didn't. Killing themselves would spill blood over their school's emblem, scaring the next generation. Still, my point is, why should she commit suicide when she qualifies for JC, a much more rewarding opportunity? I WANT to enroll in JC, but couldn't because of my "parents". If I were her, bitch... How proud would I have been? Cloud-nine, or even cloud-nine-thousand. Sigh... For now, let us just learn from this lesson and cherish life.

  Oh yeah, and by the way, I am somewhat obsessed about memes because I just can't stop laughing whenever I see ANY meme(Except for a few which wasn't meant to be funny, and racist ones too).  Maybe I will post more tomorrow because tomorrow is presumably my "first day of Poly". that is if I am still alive, of course...