Roller-coaster Ride

I'm sure no one likes being taken for a Roller-coaster Ride. Especially when it is with someone one truly hates. Perhaps to the extent of wanting to strangle him to death and put him through the mangle. Imagine sitting beside someone in a roller-coaster who's either a total stranger, or one whom your intuition tells you that that person is bad... As in my case, it's not really real. Rather it is a more literal one.

On Thursday, everyone didn't knew of an SS test. It was like a surprise test. My SS teacher Ms Yong actually wanted to test both our knowledge in SS, as well as our attitudes to studying. Oh sure, this was mainly because of whatever happened on Wednesday, where more than half of all her classes voluntarily went out of the class, sat on the floor outside the class and study the topics we were not ready to be tested on. I was one of them. I took a peek and saw around 9 of my classmates penning down their memory-based knowledge with a huge level of uncertainty. I even heard gossips from among those outside the class. They said those in class were either prepared enough to take the test, didn't want to upset Ms Yong, or were simply too cowardly to step out of the class. I have this feeling everyone didn't do well; those who prepared and those who were taken by surprise. I couldn't write because of my broken forefinger, yet wasn't spared the mercy of allowing my finger to recover before penning my SS knowledge with aching and stressing pain.

Then I was again taken for a ride. I got my O Level MT results on Thursday. It was the time emotions would stir into a maelstrom. Happy... Sad... Many extreme reactions from my colleagues and peers. Many of our subject teachers paid a visit to prepare their voices of congrats and "work harder next time"s. Then our petty vice principal came for an addressing speech. Unfortunate for us, he was very disappointed with our MT results. His first phrase was, "I've had high hopes for you..." I could remember that 3 out of 120 students taking the O Level Chinese parer failed. There are quite some distinctions for this time. However sadly for me, I got a C6 and a Pass in Oral Examination. Overall I passed, but not quite up to expectations. I encountered many opinions and advices from both friends and family. Friends recommended that I retake the Chinese paper They thought... Well... Perhaps I have yet to achieve my full potential in Chinese. Maybe I could have scored a B3. Maybe I was only one mark, or maybe even half, away from achieving a C5. Family discouraged me by saying that the retaking of examination would be far more difficult than previously, and that I would have less privilege to focus on other subjects. My mind, which many people critiqued to be very sensitive, is now in a whirlpool. A circular current caused by two opposing sources. If I were to retake, perhaps it might affect my overall grades. If I don't, I would very much miss the chance to enter a good Junior College, which might perhaps encourage a turning point in life. If I retake the test, maybe the same results might pop up again. If I don't, I will miss the chance of including a well-scored subject in my L1R4 for Polytechnic courses. If I retake, maybe I would be discouraged for the addition of a subject in my overflowing checklist. If i don't retake, my mind might feel guilty for not seizing this opportunity. I don't know... Not anymore...

The third ride was on Friday. It was a Chemistry surprise test. A Multiple Choice Questions test with regards to every single chapter learned from the past 4 years of schooling. I wasn't mentally prepared for the test. However I was naturally above-average in Sciences. I managed to complete the entire paper in 20 minutes. One of my fastest records. This was a rather short ride.

Competition in life contains many rides. Whether up a steep slope, up a gentle one, sliding the gentle one, or fly down the steep one. Life has many turning points too. Whether it would go straight, turn left or right. Ultimately, our life, as a roller-coaster cart, is determined by the track, that is... Fate.

Bloodbath

It is very common nowadays to see students complaining how much homework and revision they need to do nowadays. Especially when it comes to Social Studies. Spending time revising for a propaganda-based subject is like dying the shiny blade of a knife with crimson blood. Memorizing chunks of words is like knocking one's thick skull forcefully with an iron hammer.Even now, the thought of slacking is really mesmerizing. If I were to procrastinate like how everyone else always do, then Ms Yong will truly be upset. If I were to work my way beyond fatigue, is it not true that my mind will tick away like a soft time bomb? Even as I type all these down, the thought recurs within my mind. The thought of a Social Studies test tomorrow. Enough to put me into a deep sleep. What if I had slept in earlier? Would my wounds heal? Or would my wounds continue its free flow of blood? Perhaps I would wake up refreshed. Maybe tomorrow I will find myself in a bloodbath.

Would everything ever go back to how they were before? Change really is by far the most cruel factor in my life. I could remember way back in Primary School, where Social Studies was just like a game for us. We only had to pen down some of our own opinions to whether the things some random fella did was right or wrong. Unlike how it was like today; Essays... Essays... More essays. If it were money, I bet the entire world would never have mentioned the word "crisis". "Economic" would never have came before "crisis". This is different. I could just chant two words to tell everyone how I feel about Social Studies: "Social Crisis".

I do hope my aspirations to enter the Mass Comm course in Polytechnic isn't a far cry at all. I mean... I have certain interest, but uncertain prerequisite for my own aspirations. Knowing Social Studies is by far my weakest subject, my mind is in a whirl of worry.

I feel dizzy...