I really thought Junior College would be way busier than Polytechnic in number of projects and assignments. Turns out I'm wrong, especially in my course. 5 group projects in 2 months. Think about it... There is no longer such a thing as individual projects anymore. Yet my friends kept reiterating that "Poly life is all about independence". I can't really post much nowadays. Meh. Just wait till our holidays come in September...
Recently I have been really, really addicted to K-Pop. That feeling of "I can't live without something" just struck me in my soul. It's like... When I stop listening to songs (Not just K-Pop, the various English genres too), everything else in my room just seems so quiet. Well, two years ago I was also like this; always Multi-tasking between homework and music. This mainstream habit, I'm afraid, was influenced to me by this once-friend of mine, Jacky. Every time I went to his house to play PS3 and/or do homework together, there was always this K-Pop songs by Tara and BEAST and various others in the background. I got influenced thereafter... Not that I hate it. Habit's habit, right? Also, I find it enjoyable. :P
Yeah.. So these days I have been really too busy with all those assignments and stuff that I barely have the time to pursue my hobbies and interests. No time to play basketball. No time to work-out. No time to realize that I sweat like a mad dog with rabies everyday because... Well... My bag is freaking heavy with a freaking heavy laptop and lecture notes and everything...
Speaking of bag... The 21st of July was my birthday. I am really sorry I couldn't post on that day, contrary to my habit of forcing myself to post stuff whenever it is the birthday of someone I am close to, and of course, my own. How can I post when I was busy hanging out with my two bros that day? Then what about 'bag'? It really was a 'surprise' to me. Yes. It is a surprise. A surprise that my entire Poly tutorial group (20 people, including myself) had planned among themselves to round up their own allowances to get me a new bag. Each of them contributed $5~$7 just to get me this $106 Timberland bag for my birthday... Really I didn't expect. But why did I quote the word 'surprise' just now? You see... One of them (The class representative at that) had accidentally sent me their plan via messaging. That simply robbed the element of surprise from the whole deal. Of course, I am still grateful to my class for everything. So.. Should anyone from my class ever read this, I thank you all for this. :)
Everyday, after school (Which usually ends around 3pm, excluding the 1 hour of travel back home), I would have to do all hose household chores my extremely lazy brother would not care about. Everything takes about half an hour. Then I would complete whatever assignments we were assigned into. By the way, we recently covered one project, so that leaves us with 4 left. Massive amount of projects do not give us an excuse to be excused from written assignments though... If only I had the chance of tearing up all my homework without getting into trouble... Just think of the look on our teachers' faces when we really do that!
I am unsure whether it is uncommon, but occasionally, when I really sleep soundly, really epic mental images course through my mind. These mental images seem to be associated with "Freedom". I was unconscious, but that just felt like... Wow. Comfort. A surge of confident chi course through my veins. Well, those are not images. When I felt really free in my dreams is when I am able to... Run, accelerate, then lift off from my feet. To put it simply, it is called "flying". Maybe if I was writing an essay and using all these with fancy vocabularies and that tool in Literature I forgot the term for it, I can easily score an A1! Anyways, just imagine being able to soar in the sky without any tools. Just mental powers or magic or I dunno... Like it would be so great. The Wright Brothers too dreamed of flying in the sky. They achieved it with flying machines. But that is not what I meant...
To break free from a prison is to bend the iron bars with whatever you have, around you and in you. To break free from chains is to force the chains to break. To break free from stress would be... to fight stress itself. We are all trying really hard. To fight the stress from projects and assignments... The Man's way... Is to grit your teeth, grip your pens (Position your fingers over the keyboard for projects in computers) and write (type).
These two words, "Breaking Free", really reminds me of someone. Someone whom, in my opinion, is terribly similar to me in a lot of things. Someone who encounters somewhat similar Fate as me, and similar reaction towards it. That is just my opinion. Though I admit it may sound pretty one-sided or self-centered. However I cannot deny the fact that Fate is how I met this person. 7 years I have met her. 11 years and still in the same environment (Except social. We went different ways in our social life some time later). Greenwood Primary School, then Evergreen Secondary School, then Singapore Polytechnic School of Business. We were not always in the same classes, but being in the same learning roof is coincidence enough.
My point is... Well... If this world is a storybook and I am a main protagonist, then I dare say that she too is a main protagonist. Like, you know... The various Gundam series with more than one main protagonists with similar significance in the story line? Yeah, that. In my own pair of eyes, I see her as a great friend. I also hate her. Whenever I randomly encounter her while I was with my colleagues and she with hers, I would feel... Something 'soft' in my heart. Relief when she is found mostly with her girl cronies, which means to me that no jerks or horny losers dare approach her. Agony when I can't even bring my right hand up to wave a "Hi" to her. It is obvious that I am afraid of a few things:
I am unsure whether it is uncommon, but occasionally, when I really sleep soundly, really epic mental images course through my mind. These mental images seem to be associated with "Freedom". I was unconscious, but that just felt like... Wow. Comfort. A surge of confident chi course through my veins. Well, those are not images. When I felt really free in my dreams is when I am able to... Run, accelerate, then lift off from my feet. To put it simply, it is called "flying". Maybe if I was writing an essay and using all these with fancy vocabularies and that tool in Literature I forgot the term for it, I can easily score an A1! Anyways, just imagine being able to soar in the sky without any tools. Just mental powers or magic or I dunno... Like it would be so great. The Wright Brothers too dreamed of flying in the sky. They achieved it with flying machines. But that is not what I meant...
To break free from a prison is to bend the iron bars with whatever you have, around you and in you. To break free from chains is to force the chains to break. To break free from stress would be... to fight stress itself. We are all trying really hard. To fight the stress from projects and assignments... The Man's way... Is to grit your teeth, grip your pens (Position your fingers over the keyboard for projects in computers) and write (type).
These two words, "Breaking Free", really reminds me of someone. Someone whom, in my opinion, is terribly similar to me in a lot of things. Someone who encounters somewhat similar Fate as me, and similar reaction towards it. That is just my opinion. Though I admit it may sound pretty one-sided or self-centered. However I cannot deny the fact that Fate is how I met this person. 7 years I have met her. 11 years and still in the same environment (Except social. We went different ways in our social life some time later). Greenwood Primary School, then Evergreen Secondary School, then Singapore Polytechnic School of Business. We were not always in the same classes, but being in the same learning roof is coincidence enough.
My point is... Well... If this world is a storybook and I am a main protagonist, then I dare say that she too is a main protagonist. Like, you know... The various Gundam series with more than one main protagonists with similar significance in the story line? Yeah, that. In my own pair of eyes, I see her as a great friend. I also hate her. Whenever I randomly encounter her while I was with my colleagues and she with hers, I would feel... Something 'soft' in my heart. Relief when she is found mostly with her girl cronies, which means to me that no jerks or horny losers dare approach her. Agony when I can't even bring my right hand up to wave a "Hi" to her. It is obvious that I am afraid of a few things:
- What if she doesn't wave back? That makes me look like a madman waving to no one, or worse; the ruinous feeling of rejection
- What if my friends or her friends catch us waving? They would find means of making fun of me with this, or worse; HER friends would find means of making fun of her with this
Still... I am unsure if this is an appropriate response to the impending question from my bro BX, as well as a few of those in my Secondary School who asked the same question: Why do I still continue to see her so highly? Do I not hate her or something for the rejection? Well... I see her, as I mentioned above, a heroine. One of the people with a resolve that can change the world, whether it is a better place for everyone or an apocalypse. I respect not for the "change the world for a better place"; I respect the resolve itself. I also respect her for the person she is because it is something that cannot be changed ever since we became friends. Far as concerned, she is in fact the first person to give me attention and respect me for the person I WAS... Maybe not the person I am now: Someone really close to a delinquent (Like those who look like they are itching for a fight); forever still a sensitive person; sometimes avoidant towards others. Still... This matter has already became a permanent scripture in my heart: Nothing can change my perspective of seeing her as this matter itself. Well? Does this answer your question, BX? If you still want me to elaborate, maybe next time.
By the way, I am typing all this during my break time in school, with a light heart. No burden weighs in me. No remorse burns in me right now. All my friends are currently busy with their projects which I have unfortunately already completed a week ago. I am posting this not without a will. I have the will. The will to break free.
