I'm blogging with my relatives' computer. The feel here is totally different, whereas the only similarity is that I am posting this post from a COMPUTER, not any laptop, notebook or other gadgets.

This is only the 3rd day in KL. The total time taken is 21 days/3 weeks. Fancy living in a private 3-storey terrace house with totally no internet connection nor Wi-Fi set. Imagine a place where you brought your phone but couldn't call because your parents forbid you to do so due to pricey call fees. Would you want to live in a place where you don't really like due to the lack of your daily necessities? I am only lucky that I could use a computer for today...

... I see... So you bitches only said "that was a misunderstanding" just to drag me from reality huh? ...I still haven't give up. I made a vow to heaven, I made a vow to my friends. I vowed that my existence is to fulfill everyone's happiness. But, although most of everyone's happiness are selfish towards me, some said they will only be happy if I am happy. Guess what?

Now, I have totally lost trust towards VIRGO. I hate all Virgins(as in the horoscope one, not those who haven't lost their chastity). They maybe look neat and clean, but they are dastardly foul demons. One existed to torment my soul; seducing me, then avoid me to feel regret in life. That particular one... First I thought we were like close friends, then SHE forgotten me in Secondary School. SHE was the one who seduced me with foul beauty. SHE was the one who didn't want me to live happy. I've seen through everything. You hate me? You wouldn't think that I would actually HATE YOU TOO, do you?

So, fuck off from my life, before my tone turn unpleasant towards you!

"The human brain thinks weather control a human's mind, yet the human mind trust it control the weather"-- profound? saying by Alvin S Aberson

I promised 2 friends that I update my blog today if I have time. I am not feeling good here, because I am SICK. My parents see my face pale, I feel very weak, felt like hell. Couldn't even walk straight. They forbid me from hanging out with friends. Anyways, I am totally free on Christmas, so we could hang out on Christmas 25th December...

Life itself is a misunderstanding. Oh no, this is not emo talk. I wanted to refer to the fact that chances of her avoiding me is getting lower, as a new possibility enters: a misunderstanding. You see, my Lit class have more girls than guys. It should be quite easy-to-assume if a guy were to chat with another girl. Do I look like a flirt to you?

Humph! So that's all to what I feel like saying right now. Going for an early rest.

(P.S. To all those strangers who play Mafia Wars and got a feud with me: FUCK OFF FROM MY BANGKOK PROPERTIES, YOU GODDAMN NO LIFE MOTHERFUCKING MASTURBATORY WUSSIES!!!!!!)

I really got OWNed by my friend today. He told me to freaking give up the past, accept defeat and walk another path of life. No point dwelling in that darkness you dreaded to enter. No use being a crybaby over such useless matters. No use howling under the moon when your mind is empty. No use banging your head against a wall for being careless.

True carelessness lies not on what the person does by accident, but rather what the person chooses to do something himself then regret it. There are supposedly no such thing as accidents. My past may be dark, but not the future. In the path of life, God should have given you a neck so stiff that you cannot bend it behind, yet we try all sorts of nonsenses just to bend it and see what we don't really want to see.

Here is one fact: although I got rejected, and that is a dark past, I have decided. This is not the best solution. There have never been a best solution in this world...

I shall continue to woo her. If I happen to say any retarded miserable preaches again in this blog, feel free to punch me on the face, punch me silly, kick my @$#&, screw me up good and anything like that. I failed once, but that did not take my life yet. Didn't I say in the past that I bet my life on this?

So no tree in my world is gonna bear fruit no more? Efforts are never meant to bear fruits. I am born in this world to hate others and they hate me. All I've done is only part of the Devil's plan. I walked in this world to be tormented. No one is going to offer their hand to me when I fall into that giant pit. Anyways, what is the point of pulling me up if everyone in this world expect the pit is destined to be my home? Satan is forever haunting my soul, torturing me. I am no longer a human being...

Yesterday, I was selfish. I did not consider other people's thoughts. I totally pissed BX off. If I were to lose him as a friend as well, I found out that suicide is no longer a sin. I would regret meeting everyone. My parents even regretted giving me life. My siblings regretted having me as a brother. I regretted meeting her in the first place. Sure, either God or the Devil wrote a note of my fate that I land in this dreaded place, 5B, and meet this girl. Maybe I could have been better off becoming one with the gangsters in 6L, or even 6M. Maybe BX would have lived his way of life better, no need to keep wasting time helping this tormented soul.

I want to forge my own path, the father of Doom doesn't allow me to. I am forever in His grasp...