"Great rewards come with sacrifices."

Sigh... It is a little too sudden a news for me- no, for US. It was already there for three months, right inside my mother's tummy. She is carrying the fourth child of my family, my youngest sibling. I'm not sure whether it would be a 'he', or a 'she'. Worst is, she doesn't even know if she should keep the baby. My father is alright with another child. However, he only wants to make sure that the child is healthy and safe.

Imagine if the child would be kept... Of course I would be elated to have another younger sibling... I just dunno what to say... I'm speechless.

We will have to abandon our pet dog when my younger sibling enters this world. For my pet dog has always been so noisy, such that EVERY TIME a neighbor passes, she MUST BARK ALL HER VOICE ON HIM/HER/IT!! Afraid that the dog might disturb my future sibling, we have no choice. Even I may shed tears on the fact, because... It's hard to explain.

Also, all 3 of us will not be cared for as much as how much it is during the PRESENT.

In a moonlit night,
The Moon takes the limelight.
While his lackeys, the stars, cried
Even upon how hard they've tried.

Both my parent's care would shift into caring for the youngest, just like how it was always like in the past. Born the middle child in a family is really a calamity for me. I was never cared as much as my brothers. My grandma and father was always talking about my elder brother, about how he was able to go into a good school around the neighborhood: Riverside, while how this failure, halfwit son landed on Evergreen. I have absolutely no qualms in entering Evergreen rather than that dreaded school: I can avoid seeing Zhang Wen Han the loser's face, while able to joke around with Greenwood Primary friends of the past... But my happiness didn't come in full, especially segregating from my closest friends, my cronies...
Oh! Then there is my mom. She cares more for my little brother AND elder brother than me. She was always talking about how immature and incompetent I was compared to that geek, and how mischievous I was compared to that brat. The only compliment I ever received from both my parents simultaneously was: how quick I'm in adapting to school stuff, and that I was the most intelligent and strongest(in terms of strength and speed) compared to both my brothers.

Everything's changed. The tides have turned. I have to change, into a new me; the independent Alvin S.L

Oh my God... School's gonna reopen the rough way...

Nowadays, I feel Facebook is not as friendly as how it was in the past, so peaceful...
I saw this guy's recent Facebook post. He seems to criticize a friend of mine. This time, he's gone too far... First thing's first:

• The guy who is criticizing that friend of mine is just like one of those typical jerks who goes about screwing up people's life, while using his countless basketball cronies as sword and shield.
• The friend who criticized... is the one who once screwed my life up big times, the one who I always mention as "Jacky".

BUT, what can I do about this? I'm a mere extra in this situation. So far than to say Jacky likes a girl, who is also that woman's friend... and is somewhat a stranger to me. I don't want to go about being a nosy bastard and pop out of the situation, saying "Fuck you Jazzmond for screwing my friend"...

Friends are just like brothers and sisters. A man in need is a friend indeed. I worry when a friend, even the worst kind of friend who would joke about your life, gets into trouble. That was how Rui How would have felt when I was a menace to my teachers. Rui How, in Primary 2, was always trying to get me out of the shit I got into, and now I have that mutual feeling, only as me the worrier and Jacky as the menace...

Looking at a different view, there are 2 kinds of human in this world: those who is oblivious to their emotions and will not bother to understand the situation before jumping into conclusions, and those who will try their best to know what is happening and try to put themselves in the shoes of the person in conflict before conclusion. I know how to classify those that I know within these two options. Not really an option, it is easy to be the former, yet the latter is very rare. Most of my classmates are of the more oblivious ones, including "that bitch". However, I seldom, almost rarely, encounter those who would do the latter. I know TWO people in this world I can mention to this thesis: BX and Rui How. This is how I judge them by observations...

I shall speak of the two bros of mine in this paragraph.
Firstly, BX is one who is quite able to tell and foretell how is this bastard(SpirAl) is feeling, like sensing something is off. Yeah, he is usually correct. Yet, most of the time, he would try his best to grasp the situation to help me. Next, Rui How is another who is willing to d the same for my good. BUT, for reasons, BX recommends I don't speak of my troubles to him, to prevent more people from worrying. Rui How even tried asking BX if he could chat with me for a while about it. Ah too bad it might have been a little too late for that, because school is already starting, thus we cannot meet so frequently. BUT, thanks for the concern, Rui How... My glutinous friend :)

This paragraph speaks of how the bitch is the oblivious type.
Everyone who met her as a classmate probably holds the impression of her as a shy, shy kind of girl. They think she is so sweet as a girl. WOLF IN A SHEEP'S COSTUME!! With her friends, she is just like one of those old hag street aunties who lost their sense of maturity as they advance from Sec 2 to Sec 3. They just cannot stop badmouthing people they hate, wounding the victim's face in front of public, yet tries to seduce cheap motherfuckers in Audition. So, in the end, I starved for 2 weeks and wasted the allowance on more hatred and bad impressions by my parents and friends. Retribution WILL strike her, soon everyone would be told of this woman as a disgusting hag, descendant of filth, who treats all men (other than her Audition husband) as street dogs and don't bother to even LOOK at them. CHEAP AND OBLIVIOUS SLUT!!

I shall end here then... Wish you all a Happy New Year soon...

"I was born to be Alvin, but am I really Alvin now?"

Human development was never instant; it was gradual. Gradual is the change in me. All I can say now is that... Countless problems were introduced ever since I first met Jacky Ong. Yeah sure... I might have been too friendly towards him, that I became his Mr. Bean and/or Mr. Friendly. He thought it was SAFE to HARM ME. I was too careless. I was an oblivious, fucked-up youth. Perhaps I was too easy being target, and he has crossed the line of limit to screwing me. That bastard's got my sanity falling like a dollar coin down a 12-storey building. It was really cruel and mean of him to sever our friendship so quickly (1-year of friendship : 1 day getting ignored like a bitch). Since then, it was all basketball's fault. I despised basketball because of that. I hated the people in my school bossing people around with basketball.
---That might have been a slight change in attitude there.

This all started on May 2010. 1 month later, my sanity has also gone beyond the minimum, then came bravado. Even I can't tell whether it was true bravery or was it the former, but I accomplished something I thought was really an achievement for us Sec 3 boys. I clenched a 300ml of mineral water to focus my anxiety, bringing myself to talk to that girl I liked so long ago, since I was 11.
---I slightly cooled off and inched back to the good old Alvin.

4 months after the second paragraph's story, tides have turned again. This time it is against me, against wind direction. It was somewhere between late August and early September. I bought an expensive diamond pendant, not thinking of what Ms. Soloman had told me before: what happens when you don't heed adults' advices? You get misery and trouble. I gave it to her, thinking she will appreciate it. Literally, you can imagine this: A wolf killing a deer and offering its flesh to a household cat...
---From then on, I lost my personality, near completely...

I don't wanna talk about it. No further. I shall stop here.........