Light-Hearted

  Life is full of choices. Then there are even more choices in choosing them. One can say he wants to be a doctor. Some may think he would graduate in a college, followed by a degree or university graduation certificate or whatever. There he would be able to fulfill his own words. He could even choose to be an established medical practitioner or surgeon in the underworld, and treat patients illegally for money. Even in this case, he would still be known as a "doctor" by the underworld. He could even fail his own words by giving up on education and work with McDonald as a full-time employee. That would be the path of failure, but still, it IS a choice. However, the general question is: How would he walk any of these paths? Run, stride, hop? Also, what resolve would he have in walking his chosen path? For a life, soul-mates, romance, personal agenda?

  My journey... could have been worse. Mountains, waterfalls, bandits, deadly thorny vines. Imagine how would it be like if I were to combine all of them together? it would be a totally insane maelstrom. A whirlpool of  water, seawater, acid, blood, cough syrup, lemon-honey drink and plasma in the middle of a bloodied sea of beautiful corals and rotting corpses. That was one, two or three years ago. Now my heart feels light, although somewhat fragile and malleable, as I step back somewhere further than just one, two or three years ago.

  I am probably right about this... Well, even if I don't, I would stubbornly stand on my stand, that among the three of us(As in me and my brothers), I am supposed to be the "brain" among us, although that has been seen off because of my parents' favoritism. They themselves stubbornly see my elder brother as the role model of the family(Even though many girls in his class dislike him), and that I am a shadow of my brother. Oh and when I say "brain", I mean the most talented or intelligent or capable person among us. What if a shadow stands up from the ground it is lying on and walks and talks like an ordinary human being and looks quite like his "role model"?

  I supposed "light-hearted" is a way to describe myself right now. I mean, I just don't feel like I'm in the mood to start hating anyone. In fact, whenever I venture back into my colorful past(childhood), this mood would hit me right in my heart. You would roughly be able to guess why am I so sane right now...

  When I was really, really young(Up to the point that having my parents see my privates is no big deal at all), I remember how I loved to savor this samosa my mom bought for me in Causeway Point whenever I was dismissed from school. For your information, samosa is a Malay snack which is triangular in shape, has a smooth-textured crust for the outer-layer, and filings like potato, peas or curry for the inside. Too bad the Malay stall had moved, like, 7/8 years ago... Since then,I forgot how it tasted like... Today, I went to Causeway Point to takeaway lunch for me and my mom, when I came across this Old Chang Kee store selling samosa. I was tempted by fond memories, couldn't resist, and bought some and ate them. It wasn't as tasty as the ones I had when I was in Primary School... But still, the shape gave it away. I was enlightened.

  The next thing that threw me back in time was the swimming pool. I finally had a good excuse for my mom to allow me to venture outdoors. That was fitness. I wanted to get some of my standard(Timed 50 rounds of free-strokes in less than an hour), when I stumbled upon the Jacuzzi pool. Y'know, the one where many adults and old people would go to for their "free" massage? That place brought me memories of how I used to get along sooo well with my brothers, up to the point of one-breath race in the not-so-challenging pool. That pool was also the first and the only place where my mum actually got into public water... She even wanted us... me to teach her some of the techniques I picked up from my deceased-a-long-time-ago uncle. Seeing the pool was empty, I meditated there for the next twenty minutes before proceeding with my fitness practice...

  Another thing that colored my childhood was... Guess what? Spyro. I am not sure if my brothers forgot who he is, or have never played games with him in their entire life, but I can say that I did. The first time when I played it, was when this usually-selfish cousin of mine(Currently 20+, Malaysian sushi chef, not married and not a virgin anymore) actually lent me his PS1 console to play. THAT was the very first game I've ever played. "Spyro the Dragon"... Such a remarkable classic platformer game that introduced to me the world of platforms and that dragons are awesome. He colored my childhood purple :)

  So, when my mother was asleep just now in the living room(Lord knows why she sleeps in the living room this time rather than her conventional master bedroom bed), I had to sneak into her room and play. However, this one was different. Very, very different. More fighting and action than jumping platforms and flying... Well, there is still that platform element. I am content. then the "always ready to take challenges and risk" part of me awoken.

  I wish this enlightenment could last for eternity, because I really don't want to hate people. I have no idea why hating comes so naturally to me. One minute someone intentionally did something which you wish he or she would never have done and start shouting and starting a fight with you. Then the next minute, the feeling of hate is already there. I heard in certain occasions, hate may become permanent, and may even result in murder... I seriously wish that there was never hatred in my life. life will never be the same again... Now, at least I can commune with my brighter moments in this dull, grey world of evolution. I guess I will end here... Need to catch some sleep now... 1am here... I will now end with my original pick-up line:

If I had to face a challenge, tell IT to be ready for me.