Merry Christmas

  I used to remember how cute I was when I always counted the number of days until Christmas arrived last year, or was it the year before? I will not post anything of gossip in today's post(and hopefully receive gifts from Santa ^.^v).

  Just too bad Singapore doesn't snow... All we can get for the coldest weather here is the morning rain, which I do enjoy much. What a way to spend a festive morning: feeling the soft, spine-chilling breeze, bare-chested, while posting this and drinking a warm cup of booze(processed coffee from Vietnam). What might happen in the noon I don't know. Maybe I will be working in that sushi restaurant in the afternoon. Until round 6pm will I check whether my friends will agree to celebrate together in Woodlands(which I will have to travel AGAIN back to Woodlands), or if the restaurant is short-handed(which I don't see so since the people are working steady and well and yesterday's business was poor). If not, I suppose I will just head home and chill out and rest... Maybe later I might even be posting a second post. Anything could happen.

  While my phone still preserves the many contacts of my friends, some had already changed their phones into i-Phones, and among them, some even fail to remind me. Perhaps out of forgetfulness, or one of them just don't want to see me ever again? Still, I really miss a lot of my old friends; primary school friends, primary school bros, lower-secondary school friends, upper-secondary school friends, and primary school teachers too. Not to mention old tuition-mates and my awesome lower-secondary Mathematics class tutor Mr Ng(Oh, his hilarious awesome stories about his NS buddy Jim).

  Christmas is one of the very special days every year which beautiful memories of the past replay in my mind. It just happen naturally. This could be a reason as to why my memory skills seem poor; I don't remember things by mind, but by emotions. When a certain event triggers ANY emotion(Eg. The time I had spent chatting away with the girl I liked), it i forever etched in my library of memories. Tell me to memorize an entire Shakespearean play, and I might be able to so long as I enjoy it. It is really natural, you see... During Christmas, my 'merry insanity' unleashes, which means I will not resent nor regret on anything bad. Rather, beautiful memories of the past slowly, slowly play across my mind like a slideshow. That is a reasson as to why I can sleep soundly, if otherwise, when I really think too much.


  So... The festive season is here already. Enjoy your time with friends, or family. Either ways, do so without regretting not doing anything productive, because Christmas has arrived.

And so, May God bless us with bliss and joy in the journey ahead.

Expectations versus Reality

  This is one of the paradoxes in my life. Perhaps some of you out there have experienced it too. More than once for me, actually. Would you agree if I said, "Good Expectations, Bad Reality" and "Bad Expectations, Decent Reality"?

  This thought just happened to trigger my sixth sense, to sit somewhere and work out mentally how it is affecting my life and thus. By sixth senses, I don't mean my unique 'instinct', nor do I mean stoning and daydreaming somewhere while slacking my ass off in work.

  Speaking of work... Yesterday, when my assistant supervisor(That fat bitch!) wasn't around, things went pretty smoother. Also, I managed to discover the only setback I have: Not having the feeling of Progress. By that I mean, I had no motivation in my work, because I feel that I am 'stuck' in the goddamn rookie's post of only three basic chores, as well as serving F&B and taking customer orders, whereas others, including someone less experienced than me, get to do more complex things like preparing the bill, frequently end up screwing up if not slow everyone else down.

  Two days ago, I had expected things to go ugly yesterday after my supervisors laid me off for not informing them of my delay(Which so happens that my mom was at fault because of her shopping-lust in KL). Also my phone was actually prepaid(or was there another term for it? Damn it...) so I cannot dial overseas. Not because it is expensive, but my cheapskate father just got me a SIM card dedicated for messaging. Either ways, I still went to work with a sense of carefulness and mental preparation of getting scolded in person by that bitch.

  Much to my amazement, she wasn't around. Not only that, everyone was indifferent. I went off to work with the indifferent mood. Also, since that fat bitch wasn't around, I got my colleague to instruct me on that one thing I have yet to know-how-to while she does: Bill. Turns out she wasn't half-bad after all!

  The job is fine as long as I see things a little more... positively. Despite me knowing that I view a lot of things negatively when under fatigue, I do suppose I can get through this... Well, at least until the end of this month. I have yet to push the blame on them for robbing me off my Christmas-with-friends by assigning me a 10-hours work from the afternoon to midnight. Also, I want to further blame them for not giving my Primary School bro an opportunity to experience work in a fancy sushi restaurant. He was once desperate for a part-time job just before his plans to enter a Junior College, you see... I bet he didn't enjoy the feeling of unemployment too.

  Isn't it freaky that many things always turn out unexpected? Unexpected things roam the world, right in our daily lives. It is jut the matter of whether we can accept it or not. The world is like a game of soccer, where expectations cannot be trusted. Well, I am gonna end this poor-language post now. I might post something better IF I had the time AND energy to do so. This post was rushed.

  There will be a time.

Retreat

  Doubts about my current job are plenty enough to drive people insane. Just because my constitution is strong enough to bear this pain, it doesn't mean I would endeavor all this crap just for money. Originally, I wanted a decent job with decent people so that I can retreat from all those post-stress imposed on me by the school. It looks like people belonging to the dark side of society haunts me over their misinterpretation of me being materialistic and works solely for money. Goddamn it!!! When in life will people ever open their eyes and "see what they are looking at"?

  I just came back from Kuala Lumpur yesterday. I noticed that my phone had 2 missed calls from the fat bitch, my assistant supervisor who is blinder than bats. I returned call the moment I reached Singapore, only to listen to pathetic babbles from her for me being "irresponsible" and not contacting them yesterday. Since then, I was forced to work full-time as a part-time worker for more than three consecutive days, starting from today. I could say this is really depressing, especially since I live in Woodlands, which is 16 stops away from Bugis, which includes a change in train in-between. Imagine having to travel to and forth on a titan steel millipede which cannot be trusted anymore, listening to even more babbles and reason-less reasoning from stereotypical adults, experiencing the shame of seeing someone "act-cute" and pathetically inexperienced do somethings which you are restricted from doing, screws up, then pushes the blame on you for "disobeying orders". If I had a chance to explain, perhaps I would have been the one "promoted" and the so-called experienced newbie getting fired.

  Here's my point: I want to resign already! I want to retreat from this shadow of a society. I don't want to work with such selfish people anymore! Why should I work for some people who only cares for their own benefits when I don't even stand to gain? Sure, the pay is great. The pay is the only thing that can actually be appreciated. However, that's the only benefit I can earn, while I have to suffer shame from restriction, slave-like authority, almost non-existent time for rest, working with assholes, and inability to retreat from some troubles of my own.

 They will never understand... They are just workers in a restaurant, not psychologists. I doubt they even have a social ife with their own friends. Or wait... I doubt they even have friends out there. Maybe their only friends are those who work with them. Maybe some of them are "Forever Alone" people... But wait. In what position am I to be judging them? I should just leave them alone... when I finally resign and retreat from this horrendous job. When I quit the job, I will have more time to rest, play basketball with friends, catch movies with friends, play Audition with my primary school bros, and finally, prepare to settle IT once and for all...