This slightly-demented mood started on Saturday, the fifth of May. On that day I had organised an informal outing with my 3 cronies. Multi-playing with Bran's 360, followed by pizza. It was simple, yet I just HAVE to get into trouble with The Depressed Guy. It was not immediate; the intensity of my violent nature was gradual and propagating.
A day before, I was in for a tryout session for Judo. I was dragged into it by... You guessed it: Friends. They wanted me to join the CCA. What actually happened that day was that I was sabotaged(Typical assholes) to spar with a trained fat boy. We sparred in some game called "belt wrestling" where I have to make the other party fall by any means without my hands off his belt. I had to remove my spectacles, so my vision was really blurry. I had to think on-the-spot. I came up with a tactic which I thought would be successful: Tripping the gigantic oaf's legs. My plan failed. I tripped, he took the advantage of my falling, and sat on my right ankle. He twisted it, and even walked away without an apology. My right ankle was twisted by some 80-kg bitch, so I had to limp to the train, endure the pain whilst in the train for 70 minutes, and my parents even refused to tend to my ankle, blaming me for being reckless and it is retribution. I had to bear the pain for an entire night.
On the same day, I was made to lead The Depressed Guy up to Bran's house with a twisted ankle. We played "NBA 2K12", everything was fun. We laughed heartily at one another's failed antics and epic moments. All was well until we switched to Halo. That was when laughter was exchanged with sighing and boredom. One thing that really got into my nerves was when everyone else were having fun except for myself. I have to admit that I have a severe disdain towards FPS games, much to the dismay of fans of such.
I am going to skip the dinner part, since there ain't anything worth mentioning. After dinner we went for a WALK. What seemed to be a walk for them felt more of a limping-struggle for me. I asked The Depressed Guy to support me as the pain was getting unbearable. His immediate reply was "You said you were 'man' enough. Help yourself." Blood already started rushing into my head when he said that. I found him to be unfriendly. Then a moment later, I wanted to approach him to express my disdain, then he suddenly came up with the one thing that really almost made me begin a real street fight to-the-death with him: "I really find you an asshole, a fucked-up asshole"...
Am I in the wrong for getting pissed off by him, or am I right? Am I right to have spared him from getting beaten up, or should I have? Am I supposed to be strong to be able to bite the bullet and not kill him, or am I weak for running away? My circuit is getting shorter and shorter, from day to day. Perhaps only I have helped myself for far too long. I wish I was somewhere in this world where it is very quiet and solemn, so that I can shout my heart and fill the air with my voice. Somewhere where I can have true freedom. Somewhere I can really make a choice without running away...
