Friendly Fire

"Yet it is a sin to exclude a friend"

I really feel guilty for not asking a friend out as I usually do when I feel there is enough time. Let's just say I give nicknames to keep these friends anonymous, for I don't want to reveal them here...

Today is Good Friday. I went to Rice's house to play his X-box 360 Halo: Reach. Then we went out for dinner, where we rendezvous with RH. We had fun joking and screwing around, of course. However we unintentionally missed out someone. This was because I had a feeling he wouldn't be free...

We didn't badmouth him, of course, for why should we when I already sworn to give him my full trust, as a bro. Rice didn't either. However, RH did say something, like... "Don't you guys feel something is off with ... ?" Apparently, he is trying to bring up what is on his mind, about what is with ... nowadays. Personally, I feel that this bro of mine is really busy with his work, though not to the extent of anti-socializing himself. However much RH tried to doubt him, I would tell him this: "... can handle this, I trust he can."

I said this by heart, however I had doubts... Indeed this bro was important to us. He is the eldest among the 4 of us. He was the one who dragged me from my own mess I had with that girl. He was the one who does his best to bring me into the "topic" so as not to make me feel "left out". My mind carries a heavy burden of sinning. I might have asked him whether he was free... On the other hand, I dunno if it was the right thing to do. I feel sandwiched... again...

Reject

"Oh... So this is how you treat someone who praises you?!"

I ain't taken such a great insult in my entire life before!

I paid a visit to her in her CCA, CO, since it was already the end of today's school remedial. It was a sincere visit; I would try my best to congratulate them if they won a desirable award. If not, I would still put in my heart to comfort them if they don't.

The announcement was released. Me and some of my friends went in to pay a little outsider's visit to them. It was announced that... Presbyterian High got a silver, Christ Church a bronze, and our school... Gold with Honors!

In the room, I heard screeches of my lifetime. It was so loud that it caused a magnitude in the entire school. Every girls, except a few brave ones, cried. That includes her (that was the first time I saw her crying). I went about, offering tissues to those shedding tears of joy. Their faces were all red. I wanted to congratulate her, but it was too crowded, so I waited.

After school, I waited for her to leave the school so the 'feel' would be better to rack up my courage. However, I hesitated...

My mind did not budge. It was as per normal. I don't feel any 'spark' in me anymore. I thought the feeling had died down. I backed away, back home.

When I placed my bag on the couch, my mother was... naggy as usual. Of a sudden a jolt of conviction pierced my mind. "I won't repeat the way of the coward" was on my mind. Quickly, I unlocked the door and told my mother, "I forgot to fetch my phone. It's in school." I ran and gave chase for her. I ran as fast as I can, maybe about 6 m/s. I gave all my heart for this chase. Finally, nervous and panting, I reached her. She seemed as though she "shut her mind" from the world. It was just a road away from her house; she had to turn right to cross the road to reach her home. I whispered in an encouraging tone, "Congratulations for getting Gold with Honors!"

The worst part of this story ends like this: instantly she turned left and walked away. In my mind, I got the impression that she's trying to give a bitchy expression, a way to reject me...... FINE! TAKE YOUR FUCKING STINKY SHIT OFF ME! FUCK OFF FROM ME, YOU HOPELESS BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is now the time I dump her...

Walk off

Well... Today was indeed the last day of my CCA. I'm referring to Track N' Field. I feel sad for the fact that it is about time we say goodbye to the people who watched over you as time passes, as we undergo bildungsroman. Memories of how I was like before I joined the CCA(how fat I was), how I was changed physically and mentally("That Age" begun at this stage of growth), and how I greeted farewell to my graduating seniors. This time, the graduating seniors are US and the juniors the Secondary 1, 2 and 3. Everyone's grown. I don't feel the necessity to shed tears as we usually do since toddler's age. I have changed tremendously: From the annoying me, to the sensitive me, to the paranoid me, to the conscientious me, then now into an outspoken young adult. One of the thing that hasn't changed is my undying spirit.

"The burden of Time presses on all.
We seek not to resist, but to live with it."

Full Moon

It shines bright like a glowing orb of hope in the charcoal-black sky. It certainly brings forth reflection in me. What is the meaning of 'life'... How it would feel like to say 'good-bye' to my loved ones and gone for good? It certainly would have been better had I not slacked in a period of time. It would also have been better if I were more... obedient to my parents. I'm pretty sure many goes through the "rebellious age". Part of our growing life into fully fledged adults. I don't want to keep repeating what I've said before, as this will be totally uncool. Anyways, the Moon serves as a universally natural mirror to reflect upon our past deeds. It comes to us for like... once in 28 days.

Most of the time the Moon, showing its full form, will create images in my sleep, such as me meeting my uncle. I am quite like him in aspects of high-spirits, cocky attitude and naturally resilient. The only difference is my 'gift'... I don't wanna go into detail of this 'gift', for it will only enhance the critique of me being cocky.

The Moon is bright and beautiful today... I'll have to wait 4 weeks for it to 'outshine' again... I shall be patient.