I don't think I have to mention much again about the facts of physics-versus-metaphysics stuff, as I have already done so twice. It is creepy, as these few dreams seemed to have a nexus between them, all about something in my view. God knows, maybe it is referring to me?
Something really seemed way off. The sky was red with purple and green aurora. The ground was filled with grass coloured purple, as though the world itself was ruled by pollution. A river was spotted nearby, but its unnatural flow resembled a river of dilute blood. My mind was really shaking all over.
Then I could spot someone beside me; the same person to ever advise me on that skill called "Fiamma Naegor". The look on her face was as though she was pissed off by something, as well as deep in thought. I felt something was lost.
I studied her feelings, then the surrounding. She suddenly burst into tears, I felt her sorrow, so I rested my arm around her shoulder to comfort her. By the way, did I mention that my arm wasn't skin, but I can't remember what was it...
I also cannot recall anything else before I woke up. Then upon my awakening, it was really cold, I didn't even realize that I wasn't wearing a shirt in an air-conditioned room for the whole night.
October 02, 2010
October 01, 2010
Damn, my right shoulder can't seem to stop hurting. It is really straining to work with an injured arm. I also feel feverish after so many days of hard work. Because of some bitches in school who doesn't know how to properly teach English, and that she gets paid for nothing, I had to study, study and totally no resting nor afford the time to grab a proper cup of water. If I cannot make it to school on Monday, the person to be blamed is obvious.
I think everyone has a need to study Social Studies, even if it means 1 full week of studying, as you cannot really depend on your elective geography/history/literature to pass. If a person only depends on one subject to pass both, it is no different from flipping a coin with tails for both sides.
But of course, elective is not impossible to score. Social studies, as Ms Yong said, is really easy to score, if the person has even bothered to read a little bit of it.
But of course, elective is not impossible to score. Social studies, as Ms Yong said, is really easy to score, if the person has even bothered to read a little bit of it.
Both languages are over, I could relax a little now, as the languages have always been my worst subjects since I started joining mid-school. But that does not, and never, mean that I can take a long break yet. I felt that I might have screwed-up for the composition and comprehension.
Firstly, my composition is a one-word narrative essay, with the word "Loss". Everyone else attempting this question wrote dilly-daddy weird stories that range from losing a friend to losing an arm to getting lost at something. This is the THRILL: I wrote a fucking 'indirect' descriptive essay. My friend, Nigel, mentioned to me that I have less than a fair chance of scoring... Unless if I have provided many examples to support my essay, just like one you can expect from a Lit student.
Secondly, my comprehension. I was realized one thing, that one thing made me hate comprehensions. WHY THE HELL DO I KEEP FAILING EVERY, SINGLE, FUCKING, SUCK-BALL COMPREHENSION?!?! Since Secondary 2 onwards, no matter how hard I have tried, even if it meant 3 cups of coffee and getting brain-dead over the passage, I would continue to fail. It was like having the teachers plotting something behind my ass.
Screw EL Comprehensions.
Firstly, my composition is a one-word narrative essay, with the word "Loss". Everyone else attempting this question wrote dilly-daddy weird stories that range from losing a friend to losing an arm to getting lost at something. This is the THRILL: I wrote a fucking 'indirect' descriptive essay. My friend, Nigel, mentioned to me that I have less than a fair chance of scoring... Unless if I have provided many examples to support my essay, just like one you can expect from a Lit student.
Secondly, my comprehension. I was realized one thing, that one thing made me hate comprehensions. WHY THE HELL DO I KEEP FAILING EVERY, SINGLE, FUCKING, SUCK-BALL COMPREHENSION?!?! Since Secondary 2 onwards, no matter how hard I have tried, even if it meant 3 cups of coffee and getting brain-dead over the passage, I would continue to fail. It was like having the teachers plotting something behind my ass.
Screw EL Comprehensions.
September 30, 2010
Another dream
This time, it was really incredulous. I can never believe it would happen, not unless if I tried dying and checking out how my next life would be like... Anyways, death is a one-way road, meaning if I die, I can never say "Yo!" to anyone anymore. So, maybe not.. By the way, as mentioned a few days ago, metaphysical phenomenons are most unlikely not going to happen, unless if the whole world, as one, believes in it.
This time, the part I can recall is: I was suspended in the sky! But it seemed way off, as no ordinary human is able to fly unless on a plane or can find a way to greatly reduce gravitational force acting on him, while taking advantage of air resistance to keep him up in the air.
I wanted to know why am I flying anyways, but to no prevail, I couldn't. I really couldn't control my movements, I couldn't even catch a small glimpse of what my hand looks like.
The setting can be described as an open, cloudy sky in the evening. If only I could envision it again and draw it... But one thing I can describe it is: it was kinda... romantic. Below me was a huge meadow of flowers, grass and some rock. The side was all forest and trees and slight mist prevents me from spotting further.
Around the piece of sky above the meadow, it was dead quiet and my sight was very clear. I didn't need a spectacle and my eyes were just as perfect, if only this was true... But what I knew was: I wasn't alone. I felt a hospitable presence, but it was ironic the presence felt lonely... It seemed full of troubles.
In the end, I couldn't see the presence by itself. What's more, I couldn't even realize who THE HELL AM I?!
This time, the part I can recall is: I was suspended in the sky! But it seemed way off, as no ordinary human is able to fly unless on a plane or can find a way to greatly reduce gravitational force acting on him, while taking advantage of air resistance to keep him up in the air.
I wanted to know why am I flying anyways, but to no prevail, I couldn't. I really couldn't control my movements, I couldn't even catch a small glimpse of what my hand looks like.
The setting can be described as an open, cloudy sky in the evening. If only I could envision it again and draw it... But one thing I can describe it is: it was kinda... romantic. Below me was a huge meadow of flowers, grass and some rock. The side was all forest and trees and slight mist prevents me from spotting further.
Around the piece of sky above the meadow, it was dead quiet and my sight was very clear. I didn't need a spectacle and my eyes were just as perfect, if only this was true... But what I knew was: I wasn't alone. I felt a hospitable presence, but it was ironic the presence felt lonely... It seemed full of troubles.
In the end, I couldn't see the presence by itself. What's more, I couldn't even realize who THE HELL AM I?!
September 29, 2010
I am clueless. Usually I would start to worry, sweat and suck up my nose when I am pressured. This time pressure was supposed to be predicted to be very high, given the fact that it was Chinese, the subject I had always sucked at. Even the never-defeat-able me can admit that I would get thrashed anytime by any EVGian, well, except Tian Yong and Kai Ge...
Back to my point, I was unexpectedly able to identify the format for 公函 in 13 seconds. But well, first, I had planned on what was still fresh on my mind on a rough paper: 词语。
And today, I was able to fan away that fog of doubt and pessimistic... When I, early in the morning, camped over the void deck of a building she would pass by on her way to school. I was able to regard her with 2 simple, but holds many meanings, words: "Good luck!" Ah shit, I should have offered to shake hands with her...
Back to my point, I was unexpectedly able to identify the format for 公函 in 13 seconds. But well, first, I had planned on what was still fresh on my mind on a rough paper: 词语。
And today, I was able to fan away that fog of doubt and pessimistic... When I, early in the morning, camped over the void deck of a building she would pass by on her way to school. I was able to regard her with 2 simple, but holds many meanings, words: "Good luck!" Ah shit, I should have offered to shake hands with her...
Integrity
If only I could say this... It was always the fact that honesty is a virtue, but it can also be bad, so are instincts true in it.
As a virtue, many people failed to fully commit into truths, much less say give the truth. Even the most virtuous and innocent man or woman will have to lie one day. In fact, spilling the truth is comparable to releasing that amount of water not needed out from your mind, lies just do what opposes spilling the truth. For me, almost for my entire life, originality is key to becoming yourself, so I can demonstrate my abilities without getting much information from friends. But as I mentioned earlier, dishonesty is never avoidable, so once I ended up copying my friend's work due to lack of time.
Integrity, at times, can spoil relationships, friendships and even mentality, which people might emphasize that it will never happen. Assume that a guy has two girlfriends who have never met before, the guy has to let one go eventually. He expects that if he continues to have multiple relationships, sooner or later, both will meet in fate, then break up with the guy, then the guy will be miserable. Thus the guy asks one of the girls for a breakup, then truthfully continued the stead between him and the other girl. How do you think the girl who was rejected by the truth feel?
Instincts are quite common for honest people. They spot something wrong, they will not fail to admit it. This can raise awareness of the people of his surrounding, much more their trust towards him. Another assumption: a boy was threatened by bastards, he as a honest goody two-shoe, reports his misery to his parents or a teacher, or any adult he knows. This puts an end to his misery, as well as the lives of these bastards. People seldom expect their instincts to happen, its presence happens at different time intervals, naturally.
I do not like having to admit myself, nor boast about it. I think I'm a little too honest and it isn't as good as how you think.
As a virtue, many people failed to fully commit into truths, much less say give the truth. Even the most virtuous and innocent man or woman will have to lie one day. In fact, spilling the truth is comparable to releasing that amount of water not needed out from your mind, lies just do what opposes spilling the truth. For me, almost for my entire life, originality is key to becoming yourself, so I can demonstrate my abilities without getting much information from friends. But as I mentioned earlier, dishonesty is never avoidable, so once I ended up copying my friend's work due to lack of time.
Integrity, at times, can spoil relationships, friendships and even mentality, which people might emphasize that it will never happen. Assume that a guy has two girlfriends who have never met before, the guy has to let one go eventually. He expects that if he continues to have multiple relationships, sooner or later, both will meet in fate, then break up with the guy, then the guy will be miserable. Thus the guy asks one of the girls for a breakup, then truthfully continued the stead between him and the other girl. How do you think the girl who was rejected by the truth feel?
Instincts are quite common for honest people. They spot something wrong, they will not fail to admit it. This can raise awareness of the people of his surrounding, much more their trust towards him. Another assumption: a boy was threatened by bastards, he as a honest goody two-shoe, reports his misery to his parents or a teacher, or any adult he knows. This puts an end to his misery, as well as the lives of these bastards. People seldom expect their instincts to happen, its presence happens at different time intervals, naturally.
I do not like having to admit myself, nor boast about it. I think I'm a little too honest and it isn't as good as how you think.
A person smiling at you makes you feel elated, but a whole room of people smiling on you just feels weird.
This is one of my quotes to those who frequently makes mistakes and become the topic of gossips and laughter.
As usual, things seemed awfully wrong. The EOY is getting on the loose, with the Mother Tongue paper to lead first. Being a guy of Chinese blood, I was expected to fare well for this upcoming paper. But sloth has drastically stalled my performance. I felt a need for desperate help, as things are starting to get out of hand, it would add more weight to the one I am carrying now: stress.
As BX always said, Cancerians are sensitive, I'm no better. Peoples' jokes can get me into laughter easily, peoples' need for help gets me going for their help, even if it was third-party, known to many as "extra"... Now, people are stressed, my sensitivity to stress can destroy me, but it takes guts of a man to pass this ordeal. I might as well just live to it.
This is one of my quotes to those who frequently makes mistakes and become the topic of gossips and laughter.
As usual, things seemed awfully wrong. The EOY is getting on the loose, with the Mother Tongue paper to lead first. Being a guy of Chinese blood, I was expected to fare well for this upcoming paper. But sloth has drastically stalled my performance. I felt a need for desperate help, as things are starting to get out of hand, it would add more weight to the one I am carrying now: stress.
As BX always said, Cancerians are sensitive, I'm no better. Peoples' jokes can get me into laughter easily, peoples' need for help gets me going for their help, even if it was third-party, known to many as "extra"... Now, people are stressed, my sensitivity to stress can destroy me, but it takes guts of a man to pass this ordeal. I might as well just live to it.
September 28, 2010
Today, we took an EL comprehension test. The passage was crazy, with all that complex details in it regarding the "Chernobyl nuclear accident", and that of the Sukhothai, part of Thailand and the first capital of the country. I got 6/20 for the comprehension questions, 2/5 for vocabulary and currently waiting for the summary to release. Whole class was thrashed, including the better ones. Although some managed to survive the comprehension, summary awaits.
What a black day today. My MP4 earpiece was broken, thus I had to waste a $30 for a new one. My pencil case was lost ever since mid-May, and I have lived without it for, like 6 months. Now, I feel I need a new one for the end of year examination. First paper would be on Thursday and our very first test would be Mother Tongue. Usually, the weak-in-Chinese suffer getting demoralized by their bane of weakness for the rest of the test.
But I know that one day, I would have to stretch my neck, and catch a breather. It was time I get dead serious.
What a black day today. My MP4 earpiece was broken, thus I had to waste a $30 for a new one. My pencil case was lost ever since mid-May, and I have lived without it for, like 6 months. Now, I feel I need a new one for the end of year examination. First paper would be on Thursday and our very first test would be Mother Tongue. Usually, the weak-in-Chinese suffer getting demoralized by their bane of weakness for the rest of the test.
But I know that one day, I would have to stretch my neck, and catch a breather. It was time I get dead serious.
September 27, 2010
Gamblers
Personally, my view of them is that mahjong pieces are their PSP, poker cards are their Facebook application and poker chips are their currencies for buying food. Their lust for losing money is inevitable and incredible. Leave excessive gamblers alone for five minutes, and you can see them rubbing their palms between their disgusting ass due to itch from not being able to touch their cards.
In Singapore, histories of excess gambling ruining the gamblers' families, losing jobs and losing cars and shelters are very common. They go to illegal gambling dens in the 1900s, then into casinos in the late 1980s, and now, into IR in the present. They can sit round poker tables for 1~24 frigging hours, without a need to stretch or drink, a need to relax their brains from "strategies" to winning and asses after sitting on that blood-red chairs for so long.
I love it how they manage to create excuses to avoid trouble with their wives/husbands. Well, I hate to admit, but poker is quite fun when playing with friends or relatives, without cash nor credits. In the past, I remember jumping into wild conclusions of gamblers dying from thirst or hunger or lack of sleep or even suicide for losing a single, fucking retarded all-out match involving their cash-ins.
My mother is quite a gambler. I idolized her for taking care of me all these years. But whenever we went overseas to visit relatives, that little respect turned into despise. One day, she played Mahjong for over the night, until 9am when she will finally take a rest sleeping. Then, my father had a quarrel with her over losing money. I wasn't involved, but later was pulled in by my father for not stopping her from playing Mahjong with my uncles and aunts. Well of course, that loser was way different from me. The 'pacifist' me was totally opposite from my sadist father. He slapped me, I got mad, pointed both my longest finger and totally ignored his soft apologies.
Anyways, as long as I hate gamblers, that's my point.
In Singapore, histories of excess gambling ruining the gamblers' families, losing jobs and losing cars and shelters are very common. They go to illegal gambling dens in the 1900s, then into casinos in the late 1980s, and now, into IR in the present. They can sit round poker tables for 1~24 frigging hours, without a need to stretch or drink, a need to relax their brains from "strategies" to winning and asses after sitting on that blood-red chairs for so long.
I love it how they manage to create excuses to avoid trouble with their wives/husbands. Well, I hate to admit, but poker is quite fun when playing with friends or relatives, without cash nor credits. In the past, I remember jumping into wild conclusions of gamblers dying from thirst or hunger or lack of sleep or even suicide for losing a single, fucking retarded all-out match involving their cash-ins.
My mother is quite a gambler. I idolized her for taking care of me all these years. But whenever we went overseas to visit relatives, that little respect turned into despise. One day, she played Mahjong for over the night, until 9am when she will finally take a rest sleeping. Then, my father had a quarrel with her over losing money. I wasn't involved, but later was pulled in by my father for not stopping her from playing Mahjong with my uncles and aunts. Well of course, that loser was way different from me. The 'pacifist' me was totally opposite from my sadist father. He slapped me, I got mad, pointed both my longest finger and totally ignored his soft apologies.
Anyways, as long as I hate gamblers, that's my point.
Not long ago, it was morning assembly. It is so sad that no one wanted to sit with me for the reading period. Basically everyone were in pairs... Except me. I just want to say a lot of things that sounds like a jerk to you all. But please, give me a chance to prove myself worthy again.
Unless if you all really do not cherish my existence, is it better to have a person less in class?
All of you marshmallow men have never experienced loneliness. If you continue to solely depend on hiding behind social shadows, one day, say if there was war, you all would die in the main battlefield as cowards, and the solitary ones can die in honor, or survive to the very end.
For the last time, I am NOT EMO!!
Unless if you all really do not cherish my existence, is it better to have a person less in class?
All of you marshmallow men have never experienced loneliness. If you continue to solely depend on hiding behind social shadows, one day, say if there was war, you all would die in the main battlefield as cowards, and the solitary ones can die in honor, or survive to the very end.
For the last time, I am NOT EMO!!
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