"I was born to be Alvin, but am I really Alvin now?"

Human development was never instant; it was gradual. Gradual is the change in me. All I can say now is that... Countless problems were introduced ever since I first met Jacky Ong. Yeah sure... I might have been too friendly towards him, that I became his Mr. Bean and/or Mr. Friendly. He thought it was SAFE to HARM ME. I was too careless. I was an oblivious, fucked-up youth. Perhaps I was too easy being target, and he has crossed the line of limit to screwing me. That bastard's got my sanity falling like a dollar coin down a 12-storey building. It was really cruel and mean of him to sever our friendship so quickly (1-year of friendship : 1 day getting ignored like a bitch). Since then, it was all basketball's fault. I despised basketball because of that. I hated the people in my school bossing people around with basketball.
---That might have been a slight change in attitude there.

This all started on May 2010. 1 month later, my sanity has also gone beyond the minimum, then came bravado. Even I can't tell whether it was true bravery or was it the former, but I accomplished something I thought was really an achievement for us Sec 3 boys. I clenched a 300ml of mineral water to focus my anxiety, bringing myself to talk to that girl I liked so long ago, since I was 11.
---I slightly cooled off and inched back to the good old Alvin.

4 months after the second paragraph's story, tides have turned again. This time it is against me, against wind direction. It was somewhere between late August and early September. I bought an expensive diamond pendant, not thinking of what Ms. Soloman had told me before: what happens when you don't heed adults' advices? You get misery and trouble. I gave it to her, thinking she will appreciate it. Literally, you can imagine this: A wolf killing a deer and offering its flesh to a household cat...
---From then on, I lost my personality, near completely...

I don't wanna talk about it. No further. I shall stop here.........