Does anyone ever experience this feeling where you feel you are gonna explode? This broken feeling sustains in your mind until you can finally find the medicine to release the pain: resolve. For a moment there just now. I went up to her and said the usual "hi". This time, she doesn't even want to look at me. She said not a word. I said not a word. Then finally I murmured with a broken heart, "Hmm... It seems you are in a bad mood... I'm sorry to bother you... really... sorry..."

Any idea how much GALLONS of PURE BLOOD leaked oozed from my big and sore heart? I needed that resolve. It seemed too much amount of bravery is needed to do this as well as too big a task for me. Mission Impossible: Tell her about these few days of problems in me...

Now, I felt this overwhelming force of spiral suction in my mind. As if my life force was traded for emotional disturbs. I wish there was another way to get rid of this "itchy" yet "heavy" feeling, other than opening my chest with a knife and "pulling" it out.