Loss And Lost

  Boy... I had never felt so embarrassed before... Being told off by a friend who is a girl about my personal ambitions... She even told me publicly to "follow my heart" and pursue my dreams. My dreams of a higher education had been hammered and shattered by my family, who were obviously reluctant on allowing myself to stress out. Such cowards unwilling to take risks. Worse still, they are MY PARENTS. I, the son and mid-born of the family, deviates because he is an enthusiast and a risk-taker? Anyways, that is not my point in this post. A quote stimulates the wrath of my mind as I cannot help but feel disgusted by the hopelessness of someone:

"Failure to acknowledge one's great friendship, is that not failure in life?"

  I have to admit that even though I am a calm and forgiving guy, I am still pretty pissed off by people that can never be changed. Like some jerk who declines help, puts on a bravado stand, and cripple altogether. This guy is no other than the second longest person whom I have met and still remember(The first is Gilman), The Depressed Guy. Does he take kindness for naught, and sympathy as a reward? What does he think the three of us are, his lackeys?

  Recently, he had hinted to us that he no longer want to recognize us as the people who are willing to support him. He has succumbed to his own darkness. Calling himself "his shadow" and his shadow "himself". Can he not see the light in the darkness, and the darkness in the light? There ain't no such thing as "absolute darkness", nor is there an "absolute light".

  Nothing in this world is perfect. No wonder many people despise his principles... He is always depressed over his personal self-deceptions that everyone in the world hates him. Worse still, he puts on such high demands for himself... Such immortal standards... Does he image himself as a God, or a Death God, or some nerdy term for immortality? His life is clearly led by the lust for purity and perfection.

  He has- No... "Had" would be a proper term... He HAD three great friends since childhood(Not early childhood, but a later one as in 8~10 years-old). None of us had intentions of harming or hurting him. We had hopes that he could bring himself up in every fall. We had hopes of him being a capable and strong-willed man. Had he given up on us? An even more irritable question would be: Had he given up on himself?

  Seriously... Who were the people who backed him up in his 8 years of struggle? Does he not recognize his cronies? While our two other friends(Though they may no longer be his anymore), The Soldier and The Prophet, have doubts of this restrained bro-relationship with him and their disappointment towards him breathe in fire, inferno and flame, I can't help but question doubts of whether he is still there... I can't help but imagine his mental whereabouts leaving his psychopath of a physical medium...

  But... No. I have NOT given up on him yet. Remember my previous post reflecting on my resilience and who had inspired confidence in me? I will never leave him. Even if he refuse help... I will continue to observe him. I will continue to be his childhood friend... and STRIKE when he is at his wit's end. I trust him.