A Game Of "Avoid The Eyes"

  The rules are simple: Try not to look at the eyes of a person you know but didn't acknowledge in a train packed with strangers. Whoever is found looking at him or her, both parties lose. I played this game with this girl, unintentionally, and guess what? We lost... at least three times.

  Sure, it was of pure coincidence that I met her in the train today. Worse still, my MOM was with me. Obviously my mom was unaware that I was with a friend where our friend-relationship is already awkward. Well... I will not jump into multiple conclusions this time. A pessimist would know that I am guessing she is hanging out with her boyfriend in Bishan. On the other hand, my enhanced sense of Instinct tell me that she was going to work in Bishan.

  I knew right from my heart(the most foolish part of our body) that I missed her, since we totally never chatted with each other for more than a year already. I couldn't get rid of my conscience that acts on me to make me keep looking at her face. That only brought about even more guilt in me whenever she saw me looking at her, causing my view to "deflect" elsewhere in the speed of light.

  If only friendship and love was two totally different matters... If only puberty never involved "the victim having a crush on his girl best friend"... If only that stupid gift I gave her back then in 2010 was made of plastic rather than diamond... It might not be too late yet. It might not be the end for us yet. I see a certain beacon of light for me to recover from this depression. I see a way for our friendship to repair.

  Truth is, I only want to seek amends with her, and maybe just become friends again... I just wanna be friends with her like how I am with BX, Bran and Rui How right now... Nothing else matters anymore. No more.

This is a pretty pathetic post... I am not using my language to post this... Truth is, I never really intended to post anything. But then the pure coincidence of me encountering an awkward friend of mine made me post this. I guess this is what blogs are for... A life journal meant to be disclosed unless chosen not to....