Born in Prejudice

Everything just cannot improve. Old dogs will always be old dogs. Old bitches will forever be within their own world. They don't know what is bildungsroman, so be it. However, my main message is this: I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE!!!

First I'm a mid-born. This means that whatever happens, I have to take the blame. I have to be compared to my elder brother, the first-born. I'm not him. I have my own life to live. I have my own friends or girl to love. Why should I be following every footsteps of my brother, in favor of nothing? Put it this way: my brother is a home-lover. He's a fucking couch potato. All he does is slack in front of the computer. He doesn't love any girl, except my cousin who is a real fucked-up bitch in reality. He is pathetic in his social life. Yet my parents called him a role-model? If were ever be made to follow his footstep, I'd lose my sense of love and relationship, all my friends and my sense of outdoor adventures. Not only that, I'd still not get my parents' favors. They disregard me. They even want to decide whether to disown me! I'm already going nuts over unrequited love and school pressure, yet they are enjoying adding fuel into the fire. Perhaps I might be forced to disown my life, or I could simply call them "uncle" and "auntie" and pay attention to them no more. That would be insane. They suck as... parents.

Next, my house doesn't even have a fucking proper table to do my homework. My room is shared. Secrets are impossible. Assuming that I had an I-phone and wanted to keep it a secret, they might eventually find it then call me a "weirdo". Is it really wrong to keep a secret? I can never do my own stuff in peace. I can never properly arrange my stuff; my "study desk" is used to thrash useless newspaper and old worksheet waiting to be used as wastepaper for my dog and my "out of the world" disgusting grandmother who I don't even know who the fuck is she, or he. So far, all my homework were done in school.

Finally, my entire family are sore losers, thus the reason why I kept despising myself as a sore loser. I'm a Cancer, I'm already expected to be sensitive. Yet I could stand up for myself. It was braver, not bravado. Those good-for-nothing people in my house are worse. They are unexpectedly sensitive. Take an offense and my younger brother will act emo and act cute by shutting the fuck up, making people think he treats his offenders as delusional and just go away. He's too scared to fight back. My parents are worse than worst. Even now, as I'm typing my blog, I usually lock the door. Then here comes the message: THEY ARE RETARDS! They thought I was watching pornography and MASTURBATING?! It was just rumors that teens like us nowadays are starting to commit into such weird acts. For crying out loud, I'm NOT THAT TYPE OF PERSON!! Maybe my father is...

I really want to tell these losers to SHUT THE FUCK UP about my life and FUCK OFF from my privacy. If they don't, I might go totally insane one day and end up slaughtering people around me with a knife or bare fist... God knows my capabilities when I really went mad.