"The Week" Is there even a fucking Day 5?!?

I don't wanna talk about relationships anymore. What I know is: both side have to lose first before anyone can win. Being friends with that girl I like may seem like a good start. However that pendant was already a HUGE mistake. My aunt told me that giving such an expensive to a mere friend is close to suicide. If only I have had a way to apologize... Being friends doesn't even give me a proper start. I walked that bumpy road with many gaps.

Does anyone know how it feels like? For a guy like me to live this life? People may start laughing in conversations with other friends. My existence is a party-pooper. When I start chatting with these laughing people, they instantly stopped laughing. As though I am totally inferior to them. Even I daren't joke with them for my joker ability doesn't fulfill their humor demand. They demand perfectly comedic jokers. Others like me are not even worth attention. I met old friends out in the street. But they won't even say 'hi' to me. When I tried saying "hello" to a guy in school, I was ignored. How freaking pissed off I am. My existence itself doesn't resolve problems rather it attracts more conflicts and hate. It cannot go up but can go down. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?!