Prelim

Should I laugh or cry? Is it funny or tragic? I asked myself when I received all my results. Culd be an improvement. Could be a consequence for laxing too much. Could be a result of my decade-nurtured self-esteem. Could be a frosted reflection of my year-developed over-confidence. Either ways, the results are already out and there is no purpose to let go either. The momentum beats, only perserverence can marshall excellence into me. In the upcoming "War of the Scholars", only competition and more competition awaits. Our unpredictable results will soon determine whether we can overcome the wall of Fate. Our unexpected results can push other scholars up the wall, or pull them down. Whatever the case, no one in this world(maybe The Depressed Guy) would want to give themselves up to help others when they know they do not gain from it. In the minds of students, "I must do well and get ahead into a good tertiary school."... "I must work hard so that I can get into the course I want in Polytechnic"... "Don't need study. Just go Poly take whatever course I can."... "Everyone's gonna die in the 'O' Levels. Let's just die together."... I have heard all kinds of responses from my classmates upon receiving their results. The Preliminary Examinations are, unfortunately for the unfortunate ones, a perfect reflection towards their attitudes. I've got to admit that I did no better, but at least I am improving and is in the studying-momentum already. I feel really sad... Really oppressed for this guy in my class. I don't want to mention his name, but he was once a very talented and capable person. Is this tone familiar? He performed quite well for the past two years, for I only knew him that long. He was in the same band as me in Chemistry, was better than me in English Language, Physics, Mathematics and POA. He was that good, until when he met his downfall: Love. This is a perfect situation to quote from Admiral Ackbar: "It's a trap!" He fell in love with my 'jie'. I don't want to bring her name up too... Yes he was charming enough to get her attention. He also had the charisma for girls. A few weeks after they met, he proposed, she accepted. They became couples. Yes. Sweet couples. Sweet enough to hurt his heart bitterly in reality. Reality is the 'O's. He was silly enough to fall for this huge pit, when stress had got the likes of him, crippling his charms and heart-touching charisma. My 'jie' had to reject him. She was aware, he wasn't. Should one really pursue an impatient relationship in youth? Why not be patient and allow puberty to pass and pursue a decent career before a decent relationship? Soon after, he got depressed(For anonymity's sake, he ain't The Depressed Guy mentioned in paragraph 1). His ego was wounded, so was his heart. His resolve had extinguished as if a gust of death had blew over it. His Chemistry deproved from an outstanding C5 last year to a disappointing F9. I wanted to help him, as the 'di' of his ex, as a friend, or even as a classmate. But I can't. It would be like stepping into his life and pointing a finger at him and saying, "Hey dude, you have a problem." I guess I can only do what a stranger can do; wish him good luck. Anyways, back to myself. My Elementary Mathematics had suffered aheavy downfall, stripping off my capabilities for an A1. I got an A2 for it. This time, I truly blame myself for this poor focus and eye-to-mind coordination.. Am I suffering from some kind of disease called "Blurness", "Parallex error", "Squid-mind" or something? I frequently ask myself, "How the hell can I not differentiate between a union(u) and an intercept(n)? They are like the reflection of each other. Wish my eyes could improve. Or should I say, wish whatever that outside force is that is controlling me negatively please STOP?!?! My Physics also deproved, from 55/120 in the previous test(which is a fail) to 54/120 in this Prelim(which is also a fail, only that it is worse). Subjects like English and POA remains unchanged. C5 for English Language and A2 for POA. Exactly the same as last year. I have already dropped Chinese knowing that it is practically impossible for me to have enough time to find an iron needle under the sea. However, my Chemistry, Additional Mathematics and Combined Humanities have showed a visible improvement, though not obvious. I managed a B3 in Chemistry, which surprised not just me but all the Chemistry teachers who only classify me as the average ones in the entire Pure Science cohort. My Add Maths finally improved from an F9 in the Mid-Years to a C5 in the Prelims. Hope I can do better next time- wait there's no next time... In my entire two-years of Upper Secondary life I have never passed my Humanities. This time it was a relative surprise towards not just me, but the entire class. Only 5 passes in class for Social Studies, and I'm one of them. I glanced through my paper, only to realize that my SBQ had pulled my grades up. Then came Literature Elective, where I was also surprised that I finally understand the means of answering the esays. I also finally understood why Mr Chua always emphasizes on "A-N-A-L-Y-S-I-S". I tried analysing and managed a B essay, which in his opinion, is a near-distinction calibre essay. This comes to show that I am nearly there. Anyways, I managed a C5 for my Combined Humanities. "Time flies when you are having fun". Time flies? It can't "fly". It is a gift from our Father. If there were no time, humans would never have been humans. They would have been apes. Apes are Man's closest relatives right? They constantly work their way towards survival. Man is different; not only do they seek to survive, they also seek improvement. They constantly change for the better. All in the manner of resolve. Resolve is also a gift from our Father. Without it, we are just primates who find death to be both meaningless and inevitable. Change within us is as a matter of fact our common way of life. We change so much and can still fail to realize it. I have found my change from this situation. I found it, but also found it to be wry. This may be a whole new chapter in my story: Prelim and Change. from